Something made me very sad the other day. One of my friends, whom I have known for a year or so now, described me as her "one foreign friend". What made me sad was the word "foreign".
I couldn't understand her need to separate me so distinctly from her other friends with that single, detestable word. Why not describe me as her tall friend or her friend who speaks bad French? Why "foreign"? Why not something that referred to me as a person, not as an "other"?
I have often discussed the topic of racism in China with students and friends alike. Time and time again, I have been told that Chinese people are not racist. Given, China is not known for racial hate crimes that pose serious problems in many other counties. However, it is the small, everyday actions that give one a sense of complete "otherness".
Up until recently, I lived in Jiading which has a very small foreign population. Being pointed at, stared at, laughed at and called "foreigner" were more than daily occurrences. Whenever I mention this as an example of racial prejudice, I am told it is just curiosity.
OK. Let's transpose that situation to London for example. Imagine the uproar and outrage it would cause if I started pointing and laughing at a Chinese person in the street and calling out "Chinese! Chinese!". Basically, it's unthinkable - unless you wanted to be branded as racist.
Other incidents include a spare seat next to a friend remaining empty on a packed metro and Chinese people moving to sit next to other Chinese on a bus rather than next to me. Or how about a recent article in Shanghai Youth Daily that accused the 300,000 foreigners in Shanghai (a city of some 13 million or so) of stealing jobs from the Chinese.
However, the prejudice does not seem to be restricted to other races. The contemptuous tone of voice in which some of my students say the word "migrant", when referring to Chinese from outside of Shanghai who have moved here, is staggering. I have been informed that Shanghai is a safe city except for crimes committed by these migrants.
Then there's the employment situation which is even more bizarre. China wants English teachers. However, what is not made clear in many cases is that these teachers need not only to be native English speakers, but they also need to look Caucasian.
My former employer refused to give my American friend a job despite being desperate for teachers, because she looked Chinese. A Kenyan friend experienced great difficulty in finding employment. A fluent English speaker, she appealed to prospective employers on paper, but they were less enthusiastic when they saw her non-Caucasian appearance.
My students always offer an interesting insight into how people in China think. Not only do many of them tell me that it would be impossible for them to marry a foreigner because of irreconcilable cultural differences (so much for us all being the same underneath), but they have firm set notions on what Western people are like.
Apparently we don't like cooking, we are not concerned with our health and we don't like Chinese people's hair because it is too black. Even more disturbing, is the fact that one of my students wrote in an essay that black people and white people are not allowed to marry. Sorry? Is this Shanghai 2002 or 1960s Mississippi?
We are all different, every one from the next. Yet, when an awareness of this difference leads to prejudice or stereotyping then we are at fault. I wait for the day when I will hear the simple words, "My friend".
